What to do if a sibling won’t give you a copy of your parents’ estate plan — Vermont

Short answer: Your options depend on whether your parents are alive and competent or deceased. If they are alive and competent, their estate plan is private and you generally cannot force your sibling to share it. If a parent is incapacitated or dead, different Vermont procedures give you stronger rights to obtain relevant documents. Below you will find a step‑by‑step FAQ that explains practical next steps and the legal routes available in Vermont.

Detailed Answer

1) If your parents are alive and competent

Vermont law respects an adult’s right to privacy over their estate planning documents. That means:

• You cannot compel your sibling to give you a copy of a living parent’s will, trust, power of attorney, or medical directive unless the parent consents.
• The most direct, practical route is to ask your parents to provide copies or to authorize the sibling (or the parents’ attorney) to share. A polite written request to your parent—copied to the sibling and to any known attorney for the parents—helps create a record.
• If you believe a parent lacks capacity or is being financially exploited, you may have grounds to act. A guardian or conservator (called a guardian of the person or estate in Vermont) or the agent under a valid power of attorney can obtain and share documents needed to protect the parent’s interests. To start that process you would typically petition the Probate Division of the Vermont Superior Court for guardianship or conservatorship. See the Vermont Judiciary probate information for how guardianship/conservatorship works: Vermont Judiciary.

2) If a parent is incapacitated and someone (including your sibling) is acting as agent or guardian

An agent under a durable power of attorney owes fiduciary duties to the principal. If the agent refuses to provide documents or information you reasonably need to show abuse, neglect, or mismanagement, you can:

• Ask the principal to instruct the agent to share the documents if the principal has capacity.
• If the principal lacks capacity, consult an attorney about petitioning the probate court to review the agent’s conduct, seek accountings, or request removal of the agent. The Probate Division handles those petitions.

3) If a parent is deceased

When someone dies, the testator’s will (if there is one) is generally filed with the probate court in the county where the decedent lived for probate of the estate. Once a will is filed in probate it becomes part of the court record and is publicly accessible. Practical steps:

1. Check whether the will has already been filed. Contact the Probate Division of the Vermont Superior Court in the county where the parent lived or search online court records. The Vermont Judiciary website has county probate contacts and filing procedures: Vermont Judiciary.
2. If the executor (often your sibling) has the original will but refuses to file it or refuses to share a copy, you can petition the probate court to compel filing. The court can order production, accept the will for probate, or take other steps to protect beneficiaries’ rights.
3. If the executor has the assets and is withholding information or mismanaging property, you or other interested persons can petition for an accounting, removal of the executor, or other relief from the probate court.

4) Formal demand letters and litigation

Before pursuing court action, many people send a formal written demand (often drafted by an attorney) asking for a copy of the estate planning documents or for the executor to file the will. A demand letter serves three functions: (1) it shows you made a reasonable attempt to resolve the issue, (2) it requests specific relief, and (3) it puts the other side on notice that you may go to court. If the demand letter fails, the probate court can resolve disputes about wills, guardianships, accountings, and executor conduct.

5) Evidence gathering and timing

Keep records of all requests (dates, methods, and responses). If your parent is deceased, note the date of death and any known information about the location of the original will or the decedent’s attorney. If you suspect that a will has been concealed, destroyed, or altered, inform the probate court; courts can investigate allegations of wrongdoing and consider the copy of a will or testimony from witnesses.

Useful Vermont statutes and resources

• Vermont statutes and public code (searchable): https://legislature.vermont.gov/statutes/
• Vermont Judiciary — Probate Division and court contact information: https://www.vermontjudiciary.org

If you plan to petition a Vermont probate court, an attorney who handles probate and estate litigation can explain the specific statutes and procedures that apply to your case and draft the appropriate petitions or demand letters.

Helpful Hints

• Start by asking your parents directly. If they are capable, they control who sees their documents.
• Send written requests (email or certified mail) to your sibling and any known attorney for the parents. Keep copies of everything.
• If a parent named an agent under a power of attorney, contact that agent. Agents owe duties and often can access the documents needed to manage affairs.
• If a parent has died, check the local Probate Division records where the parent lived. Probate courts typically keep copies of wills once they are filed.
• Use a formal demand letter before filing in court. An attorney can draft a demand that cites potential probate remedies and timelines.
• Preserve evidence of suspected abuse, neglect, or financial exploitation (bank records, unusual transfers, changes in beneficiary designations). This evidence supports petitions to the probate court or to Adult Protective Services if a living parent is being exploited.
• Consider mediation for family disputes. Mediation can be faster and less expensive than litigation and may preserve family relationships.
• Act promptly. Probate and guardianship matters have deadlines and delays can make recovery of assets harder.
• Consult a Vermont attorney experienced in probate and elder law. They can advise on whether to file a petition in the Probate Division, request an accounting, or seek removal of an executor or agent.

Disclaimer: This article is for general informational purposes only and is not legal advice. It does not create an attorney‑client relationship. For advice specific to your situation, consult a licensed Vermont attorney who handles probate, estate, or guardianship matters.