Detailed answer — what New York law says and practical steps

Short answer: It depends on whether your parents are alive or deceased, whether the documents are wills or trusts, and whether you are a named beneficiary or agent. New York law does not give an automatic, unconditional right for a family member to obtain private estate planning documents while the maker (the parent) is alive. After death, certain documents (like a will offered for probate) generally become part of the public court record. Trusts and living wills often remain private unless a legal process or beneficiary status requires disclosure.

1) If your parents are alive

– Privacy and attorney-client privilege: Estate plans prepared while someone is alive are normally private. An attorney who drafted the documents must respect the client’s confidentiality and cannot release documents without the client’s consent, except in narrow circumstances.

– If you are a named beneficiary, successor trustee, agent under a power of attorney, or hold some formal role, you have stronger grounds to ask for a copy. Even so, the parent can control distribution while competent.

– If you suspect incapacity or undue influence and need the documents to protect your parents’ interests, you may need to start a guardianship/Article 81 proceeding in New York courts. A court-appointed guardian can access financial and legal documents to manage the parent’s affairs.

2) If a parent has died

– Wills: In New York, a will that is presented for probate becomes part of the Surrogate’s Court file and is generally a public record once admitted. If your sibling has possession of the decedent’s will and refuses to produce it, you can file in Surrogate’s Court to have the will probated or to compel production. See general provisions on wills and probate at the New York Estates, Powers & Trusts Law (EPTL), Article 3: https://www.nysenate.gov/legislation/laws/EPT/A3.

– Trusts: Revocable living trusts do not automatically become public when the settlor dies. Beneficiaries of a trust generally have rights to information about the trust and to accountings. New York law governing trusts is in EPTL Article 7: https://www.nysenate.gov/legislation/laws/EPT/A7. If your sibling is withholding a trust document you believe you should see as a beneficiary, you can request information from the trustee; if the trustee refuses, you can bring an action in Surrogate’s Court or Supreme Court to compel disclosure and an accounting.

3) Court tools you can use in New York

• File a probate petition or a petition to compel production of the will in Surrogate’s Court. The Surrogate’s Court administers wills and estates. See the Surrogate’s Court Procedure Act for procedural rules: https://www.nysenate.gov/legislation/laws/SCPA.
• Serve a subpoena (subpoena duces tecum) to require production of documents in a pending proceeding or as part of discovery if you bring a civil action. The court can enforce subpoenas and impose sanctions for failure to comply.
• If a trust exists and you are a beneficiary, petition the court for an accounting or for an order directing the trustee to produce the trust instrument and records.
• If your parent is incapacitated and the sibling is refusing to cooperate, petition for guardianship (Article 81) so a guardian can obtain necessary documents and protect the parent’s property and care.

4) Practical, step-by-step approach

1. Ask your parent directly. If they are competent, request a copy in writing and, if appropriate, ask their attorney to provide it to you.
2. Send a written demand to your sibling. Keep records of dates and content. A firm letter from an attorney often prompts cooperation.
3. If you are a named beneficiary or agent, gather documents that show your status (e.g., beneficiary designation, power of attorney, letters showing your role).
4. If your sibling still refuses, consult a New York estate or probate attorney. The attorney can advise whether to petition Surrogate’s Court for production, seek a subpoena, or pursue an accounting.
5. If a parent is deceased, file a probate petition in the Surrogate’s Court where the decedent lived. If a will exists, the court will require production for probate. If a will cannot be located, the court has procedures for search, notice, and potential remedies.

5) What you cannot usually do

You generally cannot “force” a private document out of someone while the parent is alive unless a court finds cause (e.g., the parent lacks capacity, the document is needed to prevent harm, or you have legal status such as agent/attorney-in-fact). You cannot compel the parent’s attorney to release files without client consent except where law or a court order requires disclosure.

Helpful hints — quick practical tips

• Start with a calm, written request to your sibling and to your parent (if competent). Keep copies and proof of delivery.
• If you are a beneficiary, ask the trustee or personal representative in writing for a copy and an accounting.
• Contact the attorney who drafted the plan only with your parent’s permission; an attorney will not generally release documents without client consent.
• If a parent dies, check Surrogate’s Court records where the parent lived; wills offered for probate are filed there and may be viewable by the public.
• Use an attorney to send a formal demand or to file the appropriate petition — courts are often the only way to compel production.
• Act promptly. Statutes of limitation and probate deadlines can affect your rights.
• Keep communications documented and avoid inflammatory or accusatory messages that might escalate conflict.