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Detailed answer — overview and step-by-step process

When a surviving spouse claims an elective share, the claim can create conflict between the surviving spouse and other heirs (or the personal representative). Mediation is a confidential, often faster, lower-cost way to resolve these disputes without a contested court hearing. Below are concrete steps heirs should consider to use mediation effectively in Maryland.

1. Understand the legal context.

   Maryland law gives certain statutory rights to a surviving spouse to claim an elective share of a deceased spouse’s estate. These rights and procedural rules appear in the Maryland Code governing estates and probate. For general information about Maryland estate law and where to find statutes, see the Maryland General Assembly code portal: https://mgaleg.maryland.gov/mgawebsite/ (use the site to search the Estates & Trusts Article for “elective share”). For court-run alternative dispute resolution resources, see the Maryland Courts ADR page: https://www.mdcourts.gov/adr.

2. Confirm the dispute and deadlines.

   Identify who has asserted the elective share claim and whether any statutory deadlines apply (for example, time limits to file an election or to respond to probate filings). Missing a deadline can affect rights. If you are unsure about deadlines, consult the probate court clerk or an attorney promptly.

3. Gather the essential documents.

   Prepare a clear packet for mediation that includes: the will (if any); trust documents; the death certificate; the inventory or probate account; deeds and vehicle titles; bank, investment and retirement account statements; beneficiary designations; prenuptial or postnuptial agreements; and correspondence from the personal representative. Accurate asset values and documentation of transfers (gifts, joint accounts, trusts) are particularly important in elective-share disputes.

4. Communicate with the personal representative and other heirs.

   Tell the personal representative (executor/administrator) that you are open to mediation. If the personal representative refuses, heirs can still propose mediation to the surviving spouse or file a motion to refer the matter to mediation in court, depending on the case posture.

5. Select an appropriate mediator.

   Choose a mediator experienced with probate and estate disputes. You can find mediators through the Maryland Courts ADR roster (https://www.mdcourts.gov/adr) or local bar association referral services. Agree in writing on the mediator’s role, fees, and confidentiality before the session.

6. Prepare a mediation package and settlement goals.

   Each side should prepare a short mediation memo that summarizes the facts, key legal issues, evidentiary points, and desired outcomes. Define priorities (e.g., preserving cash flow, retaining certain assets, tax considerations, phased payments) so the mediator can help craft realistic proposals.

7. Attend the mediation session(s).

   Mediation often begins with a joint session, then moves to private caucuses. Be candid about your bottom line but stay flexible. The mediator will shuttle offers and help identify creative solutions — for example: a cash settlement, deferred payments, transfers of specific assets, buyouts, or reallocation of property outside the probate estate.

8. Draft and sign a written settlement agreement.

   If mediation produces an agreement, document it in writing. The settlement should specify all terms, payment schedules, who will execute transfer documents, and how costs and taxes will be handled. The agreement should also state whether it requires court approval and, if so, who will seek that approval.

9. Obtain court approval when required and implement the agreement.

   Some settlements affecting probate administration or third-party rights need court approval. File any necessary motions, submit the settlement to the register of wills/probate court, and request that the court incorporate or approve the agreement. After approval, follow through on transfers, releases, and accounting changes.

10. If mediation fails, evaluate next steps.

    If the parties do not reach agreement, the case may proceed to formal litigation in probate court. At that point, consider targeted discovery, valuations, depositions, or a declaratory-judgment action. Keep in mind litigation is usually slower and more expensive than mediation.

Practical notes on costs, confidentiality, and timing:

• Cost: Mediators typically charge hourly; parties often split fees. Mediation usually costs less than a full trial.
• Confidentiality: Mediation communications are generally confidential under Maryland ADR practice rules and court policies. Check the mediator’s confidentiality rules and any Maryland statutes or court rules that apply; see Maryland Courts ADR: https://www.mdcourts.gov/adr.
• Timing: Start mediation early if possible. Early settlement preserves estate value and reduces legal costs.

Helpful hints — practical tips for heirs entering mediation

• Get organized: create an asset list with estimated values and documents that support those values.
• Know your priorities: decide what you absolutely need versus what you can trade for other concessions (cash now vs. an interest in property).
• Be realistic about estate liquidity: if the estate lacks cash, consider installment payments, security interests, or selling a specific asset to fund the elective share.
• Consider tax consequences: settlements can have tax effects for the estate, heirs, and surviving spouse. Ask a tax advisor if needed.
• Use neutral valuation experts when parties disagree about asset values; an agreed appraiser can unblock negotiations.
• Keep communication civil: aggressive tactics can derail mediation and increase costs.
• Document everything: any settlement must be in writing. If the court must approve the terms, include required language and notice to interested parties.
• Ask about mediator experience: look for mediators who regularly handle probate or family property disputes and who understand estate administration dynamics.
• Be aware of potential conflicts: if an attorney represents both an heir and the personal representative in related matters, confirm there are no conflicts of interest before relying on joint counsel.