Detailed answer — practical steps under Delaware law

This section explains, in plain terms, what renunciation does, why a refusal matters, and the common paths you can take to become the personal representative despite the refusal. This is general information and not legal advice — for a binding strategy tailored to your case, consult a Delaware probate attorney.

1. Why renunciation matters

Delaware’s decedents’ estates statutes set who has the right to be appointed personal representative (sometimes called administrator or executor). If someone with higher statutory priority is alive and does not renounce that priority, the Register of Wills or probate court will normally look to that person first. A written renunciation shifts the right to the next person in line so the Register/court can issue letters to you without conflict. For an overview of Delaware probate law, see Title 12 of the Delaware Code: https://delcode.delaware.gov/title12/.

2. Try to obtain a voluntary written renunciation first

• Explain calmly why you want to serve and what the job involves (duties, possible compensation, bonding, timeline, and safeguards).
• Offer to share a proposed renunciation form for signature and to have it notarized. A clear, signed, notarized statement that the relative refuses to act or renounces the right to letters is the simplest resolution.
• If your uncle is worried about liability or fiduciary duties, explain options such as posting a bond, having an independent accounting, or limiting duties for a short period.

3. If he still refuses: document the refusal and check the priority rules

If voluntary steps fail, get a written record (email, text, or a short notarized declaration) showing that your uncle was asked and declined. That documentation helps when asking the Register of Wills or judge to move forward. Delaware law places relatives in a statutory priority order for appointment; that order controls who the Register/court will normally consider. For statutory text and procedural detail, consult Delaware Code Title 12: https://delcode.delaware.gov/title12/.

4. File a petition with the Register of Wills or appropriate court

If someone with priority refuses to renounce, you can ask the Register of Wills (or in some matters the court with probate jurisdiction) to appoint you. Typical actions include:

• Filing an application for letters of administration (or letters testamentary if there is a valid will). Attach evidence of your relationship, the death certificate, and documentation of the higher-priority person’s refusal or inability to act.
• Seeking a hearing so the Register or judge can determine whether the person entitled to preference is unwilling or unable to serve. Courts can pass over a person who declines, is incapacitated, or is otherwise unsuitable.
• Requesting temporary appointment as a special administrator to protect assets if urgent steps (bank access, property protection) are needed while the appointment dispute is resolved.

The Register of Wills office in Delaware handles many appointment matters; their office can explain filing requirements and forms. See the statewide Register of Wills information: https://courts.delaware.gov/registerofwills/.

5. What the court can do

If the matter goes to a hearing, the court will consider whether the person with priority is:

• Willing to serve (a refusal relieves the court from appointing that person).
• Capable and fit to serve (the court may deny appointment if the person is incapacitated, disqualified, or otherwise unfit).
• Available and likely to perform duties in a reasonable way.

If the court finds a priority person unwilling, unavailable, or unfit, it can appoint the next suitable person — which may be you.

6. Consider alternatives and interim measures

• Ask another entitled person who is willing to accept appointment and then have that person nominate you as a co-personal representative or transfer duties.
• Seek appointment as special administrator for immediate needs (pay bills, preserve assets). That role can be temporary and requires less process in urgent situations.
• Negotiate: sometimes a relative will sign a renunciation if given protections (indemnity, limited liability, or a clear explanation of the limited duration of responsibilities).

7. When to get an attorney

If the priority dispute involves contested facts (capacity, alleged misconduct, or competing claims), or if large or complex assets exist, hire a Delaware probate attorney. An attorney can prepare the petition, present evidence at a hearing, and negotiate alternatives. If you only need short-term authority to protect assets, an attorney can often obtain a special administrator appointment quickly.

8. Practical points about timing, costs, and bond

• Expect some delay if a priority person objects — hearings and notices add time.
• Courts may require a fiduciary bond; offering to post bond voluntarily can remove objections and speed appointment.
• Filing fees and possible attorney fees vary; check the Register of Wills website for county-specific instructions and fee schedules: https://courts.delaware.gov/registerofwills/.

Helpful Hints

• Get a written refusal. If your uncle will not sign a renunciation, ask for an email, text, or short signed statement that he declines to act. That documentation helps the court.
• Use a simple renunciation form. A notarized, plain-language renunciation stating he gives up the right to serve can be sufficient in many cases.
• Offer reasonable safeguards. Explain bonding, limited duties, or independent accounting to ease concerns about liability.
• Keep communications professional and calm. Family disputes can escalate; a neutral tone and clear written offers often work better than confrontation.
• Consider temporary relief. If assets need protection immediately, ask for special administrator status even while you pursue permanent appointment.
• Document everything. Keep copies of all communications, notarized forms, and filings — they will be essential at a hearing.
• Consult counsel early in complex estates. Size, tax exposure, or disputes over priorities benefit from legal guidance to avoid costly mistakes.