Detailed Answer

Short answer: Under Virginia law, there is no general right to force a sibling to give you a private estate plan while your parents are alive and competent. Your options depend on whether the parents are alive, incapacitated, or deceased. If the parents are deceased, you can use the Virginia probate process and the circuit court to locate or require production of an original will. If a parent is incapacitated, agents or guardians have access to relevant documents. If a sibling is hiding or destroying a will after death, the court can be asked to intervene and, in some cases, criminal or civil remedies may apply.

1. Where to start: determine your parents’ status

• If your parents are alive and competent: only they can choose who sees their estate plan. You can ask them directly or ask that they provide copies or name you as a trusted contact or agent (power of attorney, health care agent, trustee).
• If a parent is incapacitated: the person with legal authority (agent under a valid power of attorney, or the court-appointed guardian) typically has the right to see and use the estate planning documents to carry out their responsibilities.
• If a parent is deceased: probate law controls. The original will should be filed for probate in the circuit court of the decedent’s residence. If someone is withholding an original will, relatives can ask the court to locate and admit it to probate.

2. If your parents are alive

Virginia treats estate plans (wills, trusts, powers of attorney) as private. You cannot force disclosure unless you have a legal right (for example, you are an agent under a valid power of attorney, or you have another court order). Practical steps:

1. Ask your parents in writing for copies. Keep a dated copy of your request.
2. If they are willing but unable to manage paperwork, ask to be added as an agent or co-agent, or ask the attorney who prepared the plan to provide a certified copy to an authorized person.
3. If they are being coerced by the sibling or otherwise unduly influenced, you can raise concerns with their attorney, a trusted healthcare professional, or request a guardianship hearing in circuit court to protect their interests.

3. If a parent is incapacitated

If a parent lacks capacity, someone should be acting under a power of attorney or as a court-appointed guardian. That person normally has authority to access financial and estate documents to manage the parent’s affairs. If your sibling says they have that authority, ask for documentation (a copy of the power of attorney or guardianship papers). If none exists, you may ask the court to consider guardianship or protective measures.

4. If a parent is deceased — how to force production of a will

When a person dies in Virginia, their will should be presented to the circuit court in the county where the decedent lived so the court can admit it to probate and appoint a personal representative. If a sibling has the original will and refuses to give it to you, common actions are:

• Contact the clerk of the circuit court where your parent lived to ask whether a will has already been filed for probate. Virginia’s probate process is handled by the circuit courts; general information is available from the Virginia Judicial System: https://www.vacourts.gov/courts/circuit/probate.html
• If no will is filed and a relative is withholding an original or you believe an original exists, you or your attorney can file a petition in the circuit court asking the judge to require production of the will or to begin an inquiry to locate it. The court can issue orders (a citation) compelling a person to produce a will or provide testimony under oath.
• If the sibling destroyed, concealed, or altered the will, you can inform the court. Concealment or destruction of a will can lead the court to infer revocation or to consider other evidence of testamentary intent; it can also create civil liability or criminal exposure depending on the facts.

For Virginia statutory background on wills, probate, and fiduciary duties, see Virginia Code Title 64.2 (Wills, Trusts, and Fiduciaries): https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title64.2/

5. Discovery and civil remedies

If you start a probate or civil case, Virginia’s civil procedure rules and the court’s discovery tools allow you to compel production of documents and testimony. You may:

• Serve written discovery and requests for production on the sibling (in an appropriate civil or probate action).
• Ask the judge for an order compelling production and impose sanctions if the order is violated.
• Seek emergency relief if you have reason to believe the will might be destroyed or concealed imminently.

General information on civil procedure and discovery in Virginia is available here: https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title8.01/

6. Practical evidence to gather before going to court

• Copies of any written requests you made to the sibling and proof of delivery (email, certified mail receipts).
• Communications from your parents indicating where documents are kept or who the estate attorney is.
• Contact information for the attorney who prepared the estate plan (that attorney may hold a copy or can confirm whether a will exists).
• Any documentary evidence that a will existed (old copies, drafts, emails, witness notes).

7. When to get a lawyer

Hire an attorney if:

• You need to petition the circuit court to locate or probate a will.
• There are disputes about capacity, undue influence, or alleged concealment/destruction of documents.
• You want to preserve evidence and avoid missteps that could weaken your position in court.

An attorney can prepare proper pleadings, request immediate court orders, and represent you at hearings.

8. Timeframes, costs, and likely outcomes

Timeframes vary. A simple petition to compel production may be resolved within weeks to months; contested probate litigation can take much longer. Costs include court filing fees, service costs, and attorney fees. Courts will weigh documentary proof and witness statements. If the court finds wrongdoing (concealment or destruction), it can order remedies including compelling production, awarding costs, or drawing adverse inferences.

Disclaimer

This is general information and not legal advice. I am not a lawyer. For advice about your specific situation, consult a licensed Virginia attorney.

Helpful Hints

• Ask the parents directly and in writing when they are competent. A polite, dated request can help later in court if needed.
• Check whether the estate lawyer has a copy — many attorneys keep client files or can confirm where originals are stored.
• If a parent is incapacitated, confirm who holds authority (power of attorney or guardian) and ask for a copy of that document.
• Record and preserve all communications (emails, texts, letters) with the sibling about the estate plan.
• If you suspect destruction or concealment after death, act quickly. Courts can issue immediate orders if a document is at risk of being lost or destroyed.
• Contact the clerk of the circuit court in the parent’s county to learn what has already been filed for probate: https://www.vacourts.gov/courts/circuit/probate.html
• Consider mediation if family conflict is the main barrier; a mediator can sometimes obtain documents or agreements without full litigation.