Detailed answer — what you can do and why (New Mexico)

First, determine whether the estate plan you want is a will (used after death) or a trust (can be private and possibly effective while a parent is alive). The rules and remedies differ:

If your parents are alive

– Wills: A will is private until it is submitted to probate after death. There is usually no legal right to force a living testator to hand over a will unless the testator’s decision violates another legal duty (rare). You can politely request a copy, but a living parent can refuse.

– Trusts: If your parents created a revocable living trust, the trust document often remains private unless they provide it. New Mexico has adopted rules based on the Uniform Trust Code that give certain beneficiaries or those with a property right in a trust a right to receive trust information and accountings. If you are a current beneficiary or the trust provides you a future interest, you likely can demand a copy or accounting. If a trustee refuses, you can petition the court for an order compelling disclosure and for any relief the court deems appropriate.

If a parent has died

– If the parent died and you suspect a will exists but your sibling is hiding it, you may take steps in probate court. Generally, someone who has custody of a decedent’s will must deliver it promptly to the clerk of the probate court in the county where the decedent lived. If an executor or person with custody refuses to produce the will, interested persons (heirs, beneficiaries, creditors) can petition the probate court to compel production and to probate the will if valid.

Practical legal bases under New Mexico law

– Probate rules and practice: New Mexico’s probate process governs how wills are submitted and proved after death. If a will is withheld after death, beneficiaries and heirs can petition the probate court to require its production and to determine the will’s validity. See general New Mexico probate resources at the New Mexico Courts website: https://www.nmcourts.gov/.

– Trust disclosure: New Mexico follows the Uniform Trust Code principles. Under those rules, current beneficiaries and certain qualified beneficiaries have rights to request trust instruments and accountings from the trustee. If a trustee refuses, an interested person may petition the court under the state trust statute for disclosure and enforcement. See New Mexico statutes and searchable laws at the New Mexico Legislature site: https://www.nmlegis.gov/laws-statutes.

Steps to take, in order

1. Confirm the basics privately. Ask your parent (if alive) whether there is an estate plan and whether they are willing to share it. If the parent is incapacitated, identify any guardian or agent under a power of attorney.
2. Document requests in writing. Send a dated, signed written request to your sibling asking for a copy. Keep a copy and proof of delivery (email read receipt or certified mail). Calm, factual language helps if the matter goes to court later.
3. Identify your legal interest. Are you an intended beneficiary, heir-at-law, named executor/trustee, or merely an interested family member? Courts give more weight to requests from beneficiaries and heirs than from unrelated relatives.
4. Demand disclosures specific to trusts. If you know a trust exists and you are a beneficiary, cite your beneficiary status in the demand and state you expect trustee accounting and a copy of the trust instrument.
5. Consider a formal letter from an attorney. A lawyer’s demand letter can prompt voluntary production. It also preserves evidence of your attempt to resolve the issue without court intervention.
6. File a petition in probate or district court if needed. If the parent is deceased and the sibling will not produce a will, you can file a petition to compel production and to open probate. For a trust dispute or refusal by a trustee, file a petition under the New Mexico trust statutes requesting disclosure and any necessary relief.
7. Seek emergency relief if you suspect wrongdoing. If you believe the sibling is destroying documents, converting assets, or otherwise acting fraudulently, ask a court for emergency sanctions or injunctive relief to preserve the estate or trust assets.

What relief can a court provide?

• Order the sibling to produce the will, trust, or related documents to the court clerk or directly to you.
• Open probate and appoint a personal representative if a valid will is presented.
• Order accountings, remove or surcharge a trustee or fiduciary who breached duties, and award costs and attorneys’ fees if the court finds misconduct.

Timing and practical considerations

– If the parent is deceased, many states have a statutory period to present a will for probate; acting quickly helps preserve rights. Even if a will is late, many courts will accept it with reasonable cause for delay.
– Court processes take time and money. Consider whether negotiation, mediation, or a letter from counsel can resolve the issue faster and cheaper.

Where to look for more information and statutes

– New Mexico Courts (probate and self-help info): https://www.nmcourts.gov/

– New Mexico statutes and searchable law resources: https://www.nmlegis.gov/laws-statutes

Note: This summary describes common steps and legal principles under New Mexico law. Specific statute citations vary by situation (probate filings, trust disclosure, fiduciary duties). For statute text and case law, consult the New Mexico Legislature site and the New Mexico Courts website listed above.

Helpful Hints

• Keep all communication polite and in writing. Courts look favorably on good-faith attempts to resolve disputes without litigation.
• Gather supporting documents: death certificate (if parent deceased), any emails/texts referencing the estate plan, copies of powers of attorney or prior wills you know about, and proof of your beneficiary status (if applicable).
• If the parent is alive and competent, a direct request to them is often the fastest solution. If they are incapacitated, identify the agent or guardian and request documents from that fiduciary.
• If a trust exists and you are a beneficiary, explicitly request the trust instrument and accounting in your written demand and reference beneficiary rights.
• Ask for a narrow remedy first (production of documents). Courts may be more willing to order document production than to immediately reshuffle fiduciary roles.
• Consider mediation. Family mediation is often quicker and preserves relationships better than contested court proceedings.
• Be prepared for cost/benefit decisions. Small estates or modest claims may not justify expensive litigation; an attorney can advise whether a court action is proportionate.
• If you suspect document destruction or fraud, act quickly and consult counsel to seek emergency court orders to preserve evidence and assets.