Short answer: If your parents are alive and competent, you generally cannot force a sibling to hand over private estate documents. If a parent is incapacitated, you can seek legal authority (power of attorney or guardianship) or ask the parent’s attorney to provide documents with the parent’s consent. If a parent is deceased, the will normally becomes part of the probate record and you can obtain a copy from the county Surrogate’s office; if someone is hiding the will or refusing to file it, you can ask the Surrogate or a court to order production or file a petition alleging concealment.

Disclaimer: This is general information only and not legal advice. Consult a New Jersey attorney for advice specific to your situation.

Detailed answer — what New Jersey law allows and what you can do

1) Parent is alive and mentally competent

When a parent is alive and has capacity, their estate plan (wills, trusts, powers of attorney, advance health care directives) is the parent’s private legal property. New Jersey law does not give adult children an automatic right to a copy. Practical and legal steps include:

• Ask the parent directly in writing and request a copy. A clear, polite written request creates a record.
• Ask the sibling to give the parent the request, or ask the parent’s attorney to confirm the parent has chosen to keep documents private.
• If you suspect undue influence or fraud affecting the parent’s decisions, seek immediate legal advice — that may justify a court petition (see next section).

2) Parent is alive but incapacitated or losing capacity

If the parent lacks capacity, there are legal mechanisms to obtain authority to manage the parent’s affairs and access documents:

• Durable power of attorney: If the parent previously gave someone (a POA agent) authority, that agent can access financial and estate documents consistent with the POA’s scope.
• Guardianship/Conservatorship: If no POA exists and the parent lacks capacity, you can petition the New Jersey court (the Probate division through the county Surrogate or Chancery Division — depending on facts) to be appointed guardian or conservator. A guardian has authority to obtain records and make decisions for the incapacitated person.
• If you suspect the sibling is interfering with care or access, contact adult protective services and speak to an attorney promptly.

3) Parent is deceased

After death the situation changes:

• Wills and probate: In New Jersey, executors/administrators typically file the decedent’s will with the county Surrogate to begin administration. Probate records filed with the Surrogate are public. You can request copies from the Surrogate’s office in the county where the decedent lived. See your county Surrogate information at the New Jersey Courts Surrogate page: https://www.njcourts.gov/courts/surrogates.html.
• If someone refuses to file the will or is hiding it, you can petition the Surrogate or the court to compel production of the will or to open an investigation. Concealment of a will or fraudulent destruction can give rise to civil and possibly criminal remedies.

4) Court options if the sibling refuses to produce documents

Depending on the facts, you may be able to ask a New Jersey court to order production:

• Petition for discovery/production: If the document is critical to an estate proceeding (for example, probate or an estate accounting), you can ask the Surrogate or Chancery Division judge for an order requiring the sibling to produce the document.
• Petition alleging undue influence or lack of capacity: If you have evidence that a parent’s signature was obtained by undue influence or while the parent lacked capacity, you can challenge the validity of the instrument. Courts can then order discovery of documents and communications.
• Emergency relief: If you believe evidence will be destroyed or hidden, a court can sometimes issue a temporary order to preserve documents and evidence while the dispute is resolved.

5) Evidence you should gather before asking a court to act

Courts expect specific facts. Collect and preserve:

• All written requests you made (emails, certified letters with delivery receipts).
• Records showing the parent’s current capacity, medical records, or notes from physicians if incapacity is an issue.
• Evidence of threats, coercion, or behavior that suggests undue influence.
• Any attorney names, bank or financial institution names that might indicate where documents were drafted or kept.

6) Practical, non-court solutions to try first

• Ask the parent’s attorney (if you know who it is) to confirm whether documents exist and whether the parent has authorized sharing.
• Use a neutral mediator to resolve the dispute between siblings.
• Offer to meet at the parent’s attorney’s office with both siblings and the parent to review documents together.

7) When to hire a New Jersey attorney

Speak with an estate or probate attorney if:

• You suspect undue influence, fraud, or that important documents are being hidden.
• The parent is incapacitated and you need to seek guardianship/conservatorship.
• The parent has died and the executor refuses to file the will or provide a copy.

Helpful Hints

• Start with a calm, written request to the parent and the sibling — document everything.
• If the parent is competent, respect their privacy while asking for openness about the plan; ask them to sign an authorization allowing their attorney to share copies.
• If the parent is incapacitated, get medical records and seek a POA or guardianship quickly to avoid loss of evidence or assets.
• If the parent is deceased, contact the county Surrogate’s office where your parent lived — wills filed for probate become part of the public record in New Jersey. See: New Jersey Courts — Surrogate Offices.
• Gather proof before going to court: dated requests, medical notes, witness statements, and any communications that show concealment or coercion.
• Try mediation before litigation — it’s often faster, less expensive, and preserves family relationships.
• Keep records secure: make copies of any documents you receive and keep originals safe.
• Consult an estate/probate attorney early if you suspect wrongdoing — timing matters for emergency relief.